The Over-Privileged
March 17th, 2008“Do we have ski school today?” my six-year-old daughter asks. It comes out sounding more like an accusation than a question. “Yes,” I reply in my firm non-negotiable voice. Trying to avoid an energy sucking discussion, I quickly change the subject. “But after skiing we’re going over to Hanna’s hot tub.” Hanna is her classmate and best friend who’s parents also own a condo at Whistler. We’re all up here skiing this week. It’s our March break.
Despite explaining to my children, on more than one occasion, that they are in fact very lucky to get to ski here, and that people fly from all over the world to ski on these very same mountains, they are not enjoying their March break.
Herein lies the crux of the matter. My children are over-privileged. It’s not something I set out to do. Rather, it’s come about as a matter of circumstance.
How do you teach kids to be grateful for something when they don’t know anything different. They’re enjoying activities and holidays that I didn’t even know existed when I was their age.
Leaving them at home is not an option either. It would be really hard to say to them, “Your dad and I are going skiing this weekend. When you turn 40 you can join us, because by then you’ll be old enough to appreciate it.”
While my parents bought our cottage when I turned 12, I actually didn’t start skiing until I was in junior high school. It was only from saving my summer job money that I was able to afford my first pair skis - Elans with the yellow and black stripes. When I told my son excitedly that he was getting brand new skis, he just shrugged and rolled his eyes. A dinosaur from the dollar store gets a bigger response.
It’s the same attitude at the cabin. I want my kids to be grateful for their lifestyle, but I honestly don’t think they’re going to appreciate it until they actually leave home (again, that’s assuming they actually leave home).
I’m open to any suggestions and parenting advice from those who have bravely gone before me.
Live from Whistler Mountain - home of the over-privileged,
Cheers,
Julie
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March 18th, 2008 at 3:26 am
Oh Julie…what can I say? My girls have begun cleaning up their toys with such vigor at my threat that those toys that are left lying around will be given to ‘little girls and boys who don’t have any toys’; we stop on 41st to talk with Jack, a 71 year old homeless man with the hope that they will appreciate our home; and we answer their questions honestly about the poor souls asleep in sleeping bags in church or store doorways. We make them write (or sign) thank cards for every single gift they receive, and I am working on them asking daddy how his day was before complaining about their own. It is a work in progress, and one that often feels like we are losing. We live incredibly previleged lives so obviously our children will too. We can only do our best and take some comfort knowing that if we fail, at least our brats will be friends.
March 18th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
The sad truth about the whole thing is that you truly don’t appreciate everything until you have to start to pay for it yourself.